What if
by AlmeidasGirl
Summary: A story about what could have happened if Michelle was infected with the virus in season 3.


She had talked to one of the agents when Sunny Macer finally came in with the results she had been waiting for. And now Michelle felt as if she wasn't able to open it. She stared at the envelope a moment, took a deep breath and pulled out the sheet.

Staring at the test results, all she could was hold her breath. She had expected this but now that it was confirmed it seemed surreal. The words on the sheet turned upside down and changed into small grey shadows. Michelle took another deep breath to fight back the tears that had formed in her eyes. She put the sheet back into the envelope and spotted her cell phone on the desk.

She had to call Tony.

But how could she? How could she tell him the news?

She had to breath in deeply again before she dial his number. After the first ring, she wanted to hang up again but Tony had already picked up.

"Almeida" he answered the phone.

Michelle hesitated.

"Hello" he followed up.

"It's me" she whispered.

"What's going on?"

A single tear ran down her face and she cleared her throat.

"I'm infected" she said almost without emotion.

Tony closed his eyes. These were the words he had been afraid of ever since he learned Michelle was inside the hotel.

"Oh god…Michelle…" he barely managed to say.

"The results just came in" she tried to remain calm.

"And they are absolutely sure?" he said desperately as water filled his eyes to the brim.

"Yes…there is no…" she let out a sigh. "I'm going to die Tony!" she cried.

"No…baby, don't talk like that."

"I'm sorry…it's just…" she started to sob.

"Alright. I'm gonna come over right now" Tony turned around and went up to his office.

"No…they need you at CTU."

"They can do this without me. But I want to be with you" he said gentle.

"But you can't leave…I mean…"

"Michelle" he cut her off. "They can handle the situation without me. Don't worry about that anymore."

"Ok…" she said wiping away the tear.

Sunny appeared with two men on the floor in front of the room Michelle was in talking to Tony and she pointed to the agent behind her. Michelle turned to him and could see a bright smile on his face. He obviously wasn't infected.

"I'll be there in a few minutes" Tony said.

"Alright."

"Michelle?" Tony closed his office door.

"Yeah?"

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you" she answered as she closed her eyes and hung up the phone.

Tony was standing in the middle of his office unable to move. All he could do was stare into the void. A void that suddenly became dark.

A million thoughts rushed through his mind.

This couldn't be right. She didn't deserve to die like this. Michelle had helped to save millions of lives and now she lost her own. This wasn't right.

"Michelle…" he whispered and the tears that had formed in his eyes flowed down his face and he fell to his knees in desperation.

He would loose her. The only person he'd ever loved was being ripped away from him. It had taken him so long to find her and the last 3 years with her had been amazing and he didn't want it to end so soon. It was too early. They deserved more that this…much more.

"NO!" he screamed and punched the chair with his fist.

Suddenly the phone rang. Tony wiped away the tears, stood up and picked up his phone.

"Yeah?" he answered absent-minded.

"Tony? Could I talk to you for a second?" Chloe said.

He swallowed.

"Tony?"

"Tell it to someone else Chloe" he hung up then took his jacket, left his office and as he went downstairs the time seemed to run in slow motion.

"Tony? Did you just hang up on me?" Chloe came over to him.

"I need to leave Chloe" he kept walking towards the exit.

"Hey…I just found something out and I think it is important."

He didn't respond.

"Alright, then who should I tell then?"

"I don't care" he simply stated.

"But you're the director of CTU, you're supposed to…."

"I said" he cut her off. "I don't care, alright?"

He had sounded harsher than he wanted to and now everyone who had overheard their conversation looked at them.

Tony lowered his voice and looked directly at Chloe. "Call Division. They'll send someone to take over for me. Jack is about to get Saunders and everything is under control, so you can run this for half an hour 'til someone comes."

"But…what about…?" Chloe started.

"Could you just do what I asked Chloe?" he turned to leave.

"Where are you going?", she yelled out.

"Chandler Plaza" he responded arriving the exit.

"Did something happen with Michelle?"

He turned, tears streaming down his face, and looked at her with deeply pained eyes.

Chloe looked confused and watched as he turned again and disappeared.

A few minutes later Tony was driving over to the hotel, still trying, in vain, to stop the tears.

It wasn't right to leave CTU with the quarantine zones spreading in Los Angeles but he couldn't work thinking about Michelle. It was better that he left CTU.

He should be with her. But what could he do when he was with her? Hold her hand and watch her die?

He floored the gas pedal. Every minute counted. Michelle could start getting symptomatic any moment and he prayed that there would be enough time for them.

But who was he fooling? There wouldn't be enough time ever. Michelle was going to die and there was nothing he could do about it.

He had started working for his country about 10 years ago because he wanted to make the world a better place. Until today it had worked out. He'd helped to save millions of lives throughout the last few years and yet they didn't make up for today. What did it matter when he was loosing everything he'd lived for? When he was loosing everything he cared for, the only person who was worth living for?

Even though he was thankful for the last three years with Michelle there wouldn't be more of them. It would end… today.

Their life together would end.

Michelle was in a room on the second floor sitting on the bed. She felt a bit guilty because hundreds of people were downstairs dying without the luxury of the privacy she had.

Throughout the day she'd hoped, prayed that she wouldn't leave this hotel in a body bag but this hope had been destroyed.

She would be dead by the end of the day.

Tony parked his car directly in front of the hotel behind the car Michelle had left CTU in a few hours ago. He passed security and went up to the entrance where he saw Nicole Duncan in a hazmat suit. She started to talk to him but Tony was unable to follow her words…he just wanted to see Michelle. When Nicole laid her hand on his shoulder he nodded shortly and then someone called his name.

"Tony…hey, I am so sorry" Dr. Sunny Macer from NHS came towards him, carrying a stack of folders.

"Where is Michelle?" he asked her.

"She is upstairs in a private room. Number 216."

He nodded again and barely realized that Sunny had given him a HAZMAT suit and that he put it on and passed the security entrance with her.

"Any symptoms?" he managed to ask when they entered the lobby.

"Not yet."

"Alright."

"I'm coming with you" she smiled then they walked upstairs.

When they passed another body bag Tony stopped and turned to her. "How long will it take?"

"Tony…I can't…", she tried.

"Sunny…please", he followed up.

"The first symptoms will show up in the next two hours. And once the symptoms appear it could be anywhere from 3 to 6 hours till death."

He nodded absently, still starring at the bag.

"I'm sorry" she touched his hand slightly.

Michelle had gone over to the window that had been sealed by there own agents so no one could open it and release the virus.

The sun had already risen and the soft rays sprinkled over the city. A tear ran down her face as she realized that she would never breath in the fresh air of an early Sunday morning with the sun shining on her face again. Her hand touched the cold glass and a shiver rushed trough her body.

And what was worse was that she would never again spend a day with Tony outside on the beach, like on their wedding day two years ago. A slight smile appeared on her face as she remembered that day. It was one of the best days in her life.

"Michelle!"

She turned around. Tony was standing in the door wearing a blue HAZMAT suit.

"Hey" she smiled trying to hide her tear-stained face.

Tony went over to her and took her hands into his. It felt odd through the thick layer of rubber. Suddenly she realized that she would never touch him or kiss him again and she started crying again.

"Hey" he said.

"Good to see you" she tried to smile.

A tear ran down his face. "I don't want you to…" he couldn't even spoke it out.

"Hey…",she squeezed his hands slightly and added. "Tony…I don't know how much time we have but… Don't leave me until I am…"

"I won't" he said cutting her off.

"Tony!", she wrapped her arms around his chest and leaned her head against it.

He pulled her body against his like he'd done so often before but now it felt strange. It felt completely wrong. Michelle shouldn't die holding a rubber hand instead of her husband. That was the last thing he could do for her, for them. The only thing he could do.

Tony broke the embrace and started to unzip his suit pulling back the headpiece.

"No!" Michelle grabbed his arms to stop him, but it was already to late.

He had breathed in the contagious air. She stared at him with wet eyes while he got out of the suit.

"What have you done?" she repeated whispering in disbelief.

"Michelle… I…" he wanted to take her hand but she stepped back.

"No! Why did you do this?"

"I don't want … I couldn't let it happen this way."

"What couldn't you let happen?" her eyes swelled.

"Sweetheart, I couldn't let you go like this."

"So you commit suicide!" her eyes were full of pain.

Tony took her hands looking directly into her eyes. "Remember what you said earlier? About the last 3 years?"

She nodded slightly sobbing.

"It's been the best time of my life too. And I can't live a life without you. You keep me alive. You are the only thing worth living for."

"Tony…" her voice cracked.

"Baby, it's okay. It really is. I wanted to be with you and now I am. And I won't go away."

Michelle was now crying a river and was trying to say something when Tony framed her face with his hands smiling at her. "I love you so much, Michelle."

"I love you" she finally managed to say.

Then he started to kiss her.

When they broke, Tony didn't let go of her hands, but leaded her gently over to the bed, where they sat down not breaking eye contact.

"I'm sorry" she suddenly burst out.

"Why?", he asked gently.

"If it wasn't for me… I mean if I hadn't gone inside the hotel you wouldn't be exposed" she said as a single tear felt down her cheek.

"No…Michelle. You went inside the hotel because you wanted to save lives" he smiled slightly.

"But it was done in vain. Almost everyone inside this hotel is going to die and it is all my fault", she turned her face away from his but he grabbed it looking directly into her eyes.

"Listen to me. You are not responsible for this, okay? You did the best you could."

"But I could have…"

"No…stop blaming yourself" he wiped the tear away and started to kiss her again.

After the kiss ended, she started to sob again.

"I can't believe this is happening!"

"I know" he stroked over her cheek with is fingers.

"It's just... I mean it's not fair that this is happening. All these people are going to die all because some psychopath…" her voice cracked.

"Yeah. No one should die like this" he said as a tear ran down his face.

Michelle turned her body around and leaned her head against his chest.

"Are you cold?" Tony asked gently as he wrapped his arms around her.

"A bit" she murmured and he pulled her tighter kissing her atop her head.

She could lie there for hours feeling his warmth rushing through her body, hearing his heart beating.

"Did I ever tell you that I hated our first date?" she took his hand in hers and kissed it.

"Why?" he asked surprised.

"I mean… the movie was horrible and the restaurant we went to afterwards was so weird. And you acted like a teenager" she smiled brightly.

"I did not."

"You did."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"I had fallen in love with you already and your smile that evening melted my heart" she shrugged.

"So you just went out with me again because you liked my smile?"

"No, of course not" she tried to sound disappointed and added. "But your bed has been so comfortable."

Both had to laugh.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

Michelle took a deep breath and sat up.

"I think I should tell you something."

Tony sat up too, right in front of her, eying her curious.

"I've been …", she started as someone knocked on the door. "Yeah?" Michelle said as she started toward the door.

She opened the door and Sunny stepped in holding a cell phone,

"I've got Jack Bauer on the line, he said it's important and he needs to speak to…" she stopped as she saw Tony. "Where is your suit?"

"It had a leak" he simply responded.

"But that is not…"

"I'll get the call" he cut her off and took the phone and went out of the room.

Sunny turned to Michelle, confused. But when she saw Michelle she knew the truth.

"Alright…uh…I'm gonna get a test."

Michelle nodded shortly.

"Jack?" Tony answered.

"Tony? Where the hell are ya? Chloe just told me that you left CTU!" Jack was yelling over the background noise.

"Yes, I did."

"You're in command at CTU. You just can't leave in the middle of an operation."

"They can handle the situation without me."

"No they can't. Tony, this mission is too important."

"As important as my wife?" Tony whispered.

"Tony, I don't care where the hell you are, just get your ass back to CTU, now!" Jack hadn't heard Tony's input.

"No."

"Tony…we can't carry on with this mission without you."

"I told Chloe to get someone from Division."

"There is no time for this."

"Then let someone form CTU do it. Reed or Chloe."

"No…we need you!"

"I can't" Tony stated.

"Why?"

"Could you just leave it Jack!"

"No … Tony where are you?" What is so important?"

"It's Michelle" he let out a sigh.

"Are you at the hotel?"

"Yes."

"Is Michelle alright?"

"No, she is not. She's going to die, Jack" he yelled at him.

"Oh god, Tony… I'm sorry…",Jack was obviously shocked.

"Yeah" his eyes swelled.

"Okay…uh…I'm really sorry about that. You know ho much I like Michelle but you need to understand that you must leave. We need you at CTU."

"No, Jack. That is not an option!" he said through tears.

"It would be just for an hour. You can go back to Mich…"

"No" Tony cut him off harshly.

Jack sighed hard. "Tony, I know how hard this must be for you but you can't risk millions of lives because of …"

"Because of Michelle?"

"Tony…I didn't mean to …"

"Sorry, Jack. I can't leave."

"Tony ….I understand your situation but please think about it."

"No, you don't understand. I can't leave because I was exposed to the virus."

"What? How?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Tony … I dunno what to say."

"It's okay" Tony said as he saw Sunny coming up to him carrying a small suitcase.

"I have to go now. Bye" he hung up the phone.

"Here" he handed her the phone.

"Thanks" she took it and added. "Uh … I need to do a nasal swab so we can test you" she took out a cotton bud. Afterwards she said. "We should have the results in half an hour."

Tony nodded and watched her disappear. Then he let out a sigh and went back to Michelle.

When Tony entered the room Michelle was still sitting on the bed with her head hanging down and she was starring at her feet.

"Michelle?" he closed the door and sat down next to her.

She looked up at him. "What did Jack want?"

"Nothing, don't worry about that."

Michelle nodded.

"Hey … you wanted to tell me something before Jack called."

Michelle wiped her hand over her forehead and sighed. "Yeah."

"What is it?" he asked gently taking her hand.

"A few weeks ago … we talked about … about children."

He nodded slightly and Michelle continued. "And I told you that I wasn't ready yet … to have children."

"You did. And I was fine with that" he said confused.

"I know. But to be honest…" she put her other hand on his cheek. "I've thought about it ever since and … and I realized that…" she stopped trying to fight back the tears swelling in her eyes.

"What?" he followed up.

"I realized that I am ready and that it would be great to have children … with you" she said as the tears streamed down her face.

Tony pulled her over and wrapped his arms around her to comfort her.

"And now … it's too late."

"Michelle … sweetheart. Don't."

"Sorry, but I thought you should know that.", she tried to apologize.

"Thank you" he finally whispered stroking over her head.

Michelle started to cry harder and did not try to fight back the tears anymore and Tony was holding her tight crying himself.

A few minutes later Michelle's head was lying in Tony's lap. Her tear-stained eyes were starring up at the ceiling and Tony's hand was resting on her head.

"Do you think…?" she stopped.

"What?"

"Nah … it's stupid.", she felt embarrassed.

"No … tell me."

"Do you think... Do you think we will meet again? In another life?"

"I hope so."

"So you do believe in rebirth?"

"If it means to be together with you again … then it's a yes.", he smiled.

Michelle started to smile too. How could he manage to find the right answers to comfort her all the time? She took his hand and squeezed it slightly.

They laid there in silence for a while before Michelle sat up with a determined look.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"I just…" she stopped as Tony's face turned into shock and just a second later she could feel the blood streaming down her face like a torrent. "Oh my god …", she screamed out pressing her palm against her nose.

"Michelle!" Tony hold out his hand and helped Michelle to stand up.

"Oh god." she whispered.

Tony took a bandage out of the first-aid-suitcase and pressed it against her nose. Then he helped her to sit down on the chair and knelt down in front of her. Michelle was sobbing badly and she began to have difficulty breathing.

"Lean back a bit" Tony stood up and went around her then took her head and pulled it slightly backwards. "Calm down" he whispered.

"My head is hurting and …", she gasped.

"I know" he stroked over her forehead.

Michelle closed her eyes for a moment, then she pulled something out of her jacket. It was a small silver package.

When Tony spotted the package he looked down at Michelle in deep pain.

"Sweetheart."

"I'll take it when you get your test results" she put it back into her pocket and closed her eyes again.

"You sure?"

"Yes" she smiled slightly.

Then he helped her over to the bed where they lay down. Tony wrapped his arms around her chest so her head was lying on his chest. The bandage was already soaked so Tony gave her another one to press against her nose.

"Hold my hand" Michelle suddenly whispered.

He took her hand and held it tight. Tony felt completely useless because he couldn't do anything else but hold her hand.

"Tony?" she took him pulled him from his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"If you are not infected..." she started.

"Michelle…"

She slowly sat up eying him with a determined, yet pain full look. "No, listen to me. I'm going to die … but if you are immune to this virus I want you … to move on. Don't cry for me. Move on and find someone who makes you happy just like you've made me happy. You deserve that."

"I don't wanna talk about this."

"I do. And you have to promise me you'll move on."

"I can't Michelle" he whispered crying.

"Please. Tony, this is all I want. I can die knowing that you'll have a good life. The life you deserve."

Tony shook his head in silence.

"Please" she repeated. "Do it … for me!" she looked at him.

"Michelle you are the only one for me. And you'll always be. There's not … I can't even imagine a life without you anymore."

"Tony…" she looked at him in despair.

Tony let out a small sigh then closed his eyes and said. "Okay." Then he pulled her tighter.

"Thank you" she smiled.

They held each other in silence for almost another ten minutes, each of them enjoying the nearness. When they finally broke the embrace, Sunny Macer entered the room handing Tony his results.

"Here" she smiled friendly and added. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, thank you" Michelle smiled at her.

Sunny left the room and Tony went over to the garbage can and opened the envelope. When he pulled out the sheet Michelle leaned back in the bed.

"Tony?"

Tony took a deep breath then put the sheets into his jacket and turned back to her. "Positive."

Michelle closed her eyes and said crying. "I wanted to spend so much more time with you."

"I know. We haven't had much time. It was just not enough" he went back to her and Michelle lay her head down on his lap.

She started to cry even harder now.

"I'm so sorry for every fight we had today…or before. If I had known that … I would have spend much more time with you."

"Don't be sorry. We've had these amazing three years together and no one can take it away from us. It had been the best time of my life and you are the best thing in my life. I love you so much and I am so thankful that I had the chance to spend my time with you" he kissed her forehead.

Michelle wiped away the tears. "When I met you, I didn't think I could love someone like I love you. You gave me a reason to live. Thank you."

She sat up again and started to kiss him like a few years ago when they'd kissed for the first time. And when they'd found their soul mate.

Suddenly Michelle started to cough badly and leaned back. "Ahh…" she sighed in pain.

Michelle was suffering so badly and now he realized why she'd asked him for the capsules. No one should die like this.

Tony leaned forward and grabbed the silver package.

"How fast is this supposed to take effect?" she asked.

"After you've taken it you'll get very tired and fall asleep within minutes" he answered.

Michelle nodded. "Okay … uh … I don't know what … ", her eyes swelled again. "I think I should thank you for being here for me and for loving me and for giving me the chance to love you." The tears flew down her face but she continued. "I love you so much."

"Michelle. … I can't even thank you enough for being you. You made my life the life I've always wanted. I love you and I always will" he framed her face and kissed her.

After a while they parted and she sat down between his legs, resting her head on his chest. Tony took her hand and folded it with his own, not breaking eye contact. Then he gave her the pill and she took it.

"Thank you!" she whispered smiling brightly.

"I love you Michelle" he answered.

"I love you Tony" she said closing her heavy eyes.

Tony squeezed her hand and she smiled even brighter.

"I love you so much" she repeated.

"I love you" he said kissing her hand as it suddenly became limp.

Tony wasn't able to fight back the tears that had swollen in his eyes anymore. He started to cry like he had never done before as he held her limp hand in his. When Tony opened his eyes again, Michelle was still leaning against his chest. He must have fallen asleep but he didn't know for how long. He starred at Michelle's lifeless body and couldn't help but smile because she was still so beautiful.

Tony took her hand and kissed it, then kissed her forehead and whispered "Goodbye."

Then he lifted her to the side gently and pulled a strand of hair out of her face. Then he kissed her lips slightly.

He stood up, went over to the chair and took out his jacket. Then he pulled out another silver package and the envelope out of the pocket. He read his results one more time, shook his head slightly and lay it down on the chair.

Walking back to the bed he starred at Michelle like there was nothing else on earth. He lay down and wrapped his arms around Michelle, watching her for another minute. Then he took out the capsule and swallowed it down. He took her cold hand and laid down his head next to hers.

"I will always love you, Michelle" he whispered before it went dark around him.

His last thought was aimed at Michelle and the last thing he saw was Michelle standing in front of him at their wedding day.

He hoped he would meet her again.

In another life.

With more time.


End file.
